He is my Strength

He might not change the circumstance, but He will change your heart towards it.


I am ready to accept that my circumstances will not change, at least for this season in my life.

He has helped me to chose that no matter how many migraines I get, no matter how weak I feel, no matter how tired I am or how emotional I am... I WILL PRAISE HIM. 

He is a gracious God. Every time I have had a migraine (while here in Israel) it has been at a time where it is OK to miss out on what ever is going on. He will not allow me to miss anything important or exciting. :) He has been teaching me to spend more time in prayer as I try to fall asleep to let my migraine settle down. It hasn't been easy though. I go through moments of wishing I was "normal" that I didn't have to eat a special way or that I could just have energy all the time. Wishing I could keep up with everyone else.
Lately in class we have been going over all the miracles Jesus performed. It is like a knife to my chest sometimes. I get upset when I see that Jesus healed so many people but He isn't healing me. I get stuck thinking that I don't have enough faith to be healed. That I am going through all of these health issues because I did something wrong. LIES LIES LIES. We must stop ourselves. We must recognize the lies when they come. We must test them against scripture. I have to stop myself. Think Katie, think! Remember what He has already done... Jesus healed me from CANCER! Not just any cancer but a rare incurable cancer. Of course He can heal me from all my other health issues. Now just might not be that time. And since I cannot change my circumstances I must change my heart towards them. I must lean in closer to HIM. I must keep charging.

This week has been especially hard. Monday-Wednesday I had no energy at all. It was hard for me to stay awake. I barely had any energy to walk anywhere. I tried as much as I could to carry on and do the things I needed to do. But often had to withdraw from museum trips and other things to go sleep. This was a very frustrating week and a little bit scary. Why did I have no energy? Why can't I keep my eyes open? I couldn't even get my Bible out. Where is my strength?! I went through a whole list of guessing what could be wrong with me. ENOUGH analyzing what is wrong with me.
ALL I need is prayer.
That is all I am going to do and ask for. No more analyzing the situation. No more trying more of this, less of that. I thank the Lord for my mom who is always there to cheer me on. To give me scripture and pray for me over and over and over again. To ask others to pray for me as well. (Thank you for all the prayers.)

After the prayers were being sent out, I knew the Lord was strengthening me. I don't remember exactly how I got to this verse but God spoke to me through Isaiah 27:5 which says,

"Or let him take hold of My strength, that he may make peace with Me; and he shall make peace with Me."

He gave me His strength when I had none. I didn't even have strength to get in His word. To journal and talk to Him. He restored my strength so that our time together could be restored.

God is so good to us. He is so loving and caring. When we have no strength to run to Him, or even crawl to Him... He comes to us. Even the faintest "help" and He is there. 

And once He gives us that little strength we MUST run to the Word. The Word revives us. It gives us life. Check out these verses from Psalms 119

"My soul clings to the dust; revive me according to Your word." -Psalm 119:25

When we feel like we cannot get up off the floor, go to His word. It is what picks us up. Even just a scripture to repeat over and over again... the Word is living and breathing. Let it breath life into you.



"My soul melts from heaviness; strengthen me according to your word." -Psalm 119:28

When we cannot handle the heaviness of the situation. When the news it too much to bare. When we cannot take life anymore... GO TO HIS WORD. It strengthens us. It gets us moving. It pushes us through the tough patches of life.


"This is my comfort in my affliction, for your word has given me life." -Psalm 119:50

 I have found that the Word is truly the only thing that can bring me comfort. No matter how many times someone tells me "it will be alright" "you are not crazy" or what ever, it just doesn't comfort me like my Abba Father can comfort me. Why is this? It is because His words are truth. I can trust Him. You can trust Him too. And you wanna know a secret? He lets you get everything off your chest, He doesn't try to convince you of this or that. He simply lets you talk it out or yell if that's what you need to do. Then when you are ready He just holds you. He brings words of comfort. And He brings your mind back to the truth. He always leads you to the truth. No human has enough patience to listen to us pour out what we really think with out trying to stop us and get us to see things their way. Its nothing against us, its just humanness... That's why we need to go to Jesus to find comfort. To let it all out. His words bring us back to the truth and bring us back to life.

We must understand that we need to be absolutely honest with the Lord. If we are not, we allow the enemy to continue lying to us and the truth cannot be revealed.

This verse is one I have applied personally. It is talking of God being in the midst of Israel, that Israel will not be moved and He will help Israel. But the same goes for us too...

"God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her." -Psalm 46:5


So what I have learned is to accept my health for what it is and to praise God through it all. To look at the positive in it all. (You can always find a positive in any situation.) To run to Him constantly. He is my strength.  Let Him be your strength too. Run to Him before you run to anything else. We are all on this journey together and need to encourage each other to run to Him.